people

I am a people person.
I like talking with people, about stuff I like.

But there are people on this world that can take disadvantage of it.
It happens everywhere. People take peoples trust and then do hurtful stuff.
Whether its bullying, or picking fights. It always happens everywhere.

People have picked fights with me. I don't like fights.
I try to go out of the way of them.
But this time, I couldn't.

Saying stuff about a person is hurtful. Even if they're the truth.
Even if it is the truth, better try saying it to someone, in a nice manner.
Instead saying it in a rude and harsh way.

Also misunderstandings are normal. We all have them.
But getting mad, and continuing to be mad, only because you think your right?
What is the use of that?
Can't you see you hurt other people?
That it brings people down?

I don't want to be down, sad, hurt or anything like that.
I try to be happy, and I can be because I know I have people who loves me,
cares for me,
and don't want to loose me.

But you can't have that, every place you go.
I found that out.
And I can deal with that.
But making people feel worse than they are,
making you the boss over them?
NO!

I have had enough of people who think they know me.
Can't people see, that if I don't trust them, I don't show them the real me?

The real me, is a honest, sweet, social, kind, happy and friendly person.
But if you take the wrong things out me then you get,
weak,
hurt,
angry,
furious,
and unhappy person.

I do not want to be the person, who has all the bad sides.
I don't have a bad side, if you don't try to get it out of me.

I am a bubbly and happy person, so let me be like that.
If you honestly think I suck, or I am just some stupid person who you can make fun of,
Get away.
I don't want to be unhappy anymore.

I am me, so let me be me.
And don't pick fights, hurt or mess around with me.
I am not meant for that.

I have met some great people the past month.
I lost people,
I am glad some people are still around.

But everyone in my life, gives me a lesson.
A way to see the world different.

There are happy lessons, and sad lessons.

And every person in the world, carries a part for that.
Whether it is the news, people around me, on facebook,
in my neighbourhood, my city, my country, in the world.

We all carry a piece of a lesson for someone else.
It is what we do with it, that matters.

So I try to do my best with my piece of a lesson, and I get mixed in the ones of others.
Yet some are things you don't want to be mixed into.
Then take a step back.
And I think I need to take a step back, right here right now.

So I will.
But people must realise, that words aren't just words.
Words are knives, that can be double edged if you don't watch out.
Yet you can just kill with words.
Or you can cut some bread with it, and feed someone, the happy things.

I try to give happy things, and I send happy words to people I care about.
But if someone sends me mean words, then there won't be happy words anymore.
Then I will be silent.

Then the happy words go to someone else, someone who needs them.

I have had enough of people who mess things up, yet they will always be in this world.
It is up to you what you do with it.

I will just stay happy, and glad I have people who care.
People who want me to be around.

I just stay with them, not because I am scared to go out.
But to have a place where I can fall back to.

So thank you to everyone who wants to be a pillow for me, someone who catches me in the bad times.
And want to care for me.
People who are here for me. Who love me.
Who take me for who I am,
Who want to receive and give me happy words.
So to everyone who thinks I am someone who matters.

Thank You

feelings and past year.

I think I am honestly the only one who looks on her schoolemail. When I look back at last year, I am honestly proud of myself. I might not always have had the best grades, but I did really change.
In the beginning I was afraid to mess everything up, like everything. But as the year progressed I gained more self-confidence. When I had my intern-ship everything changed. I finally realised not everything will go alright and making mistakes is a part of life. I learned to be less serious when it comes to people and making jokes. (^.^)

I can remember me people called me a mouse, the quiet person of class. And that is kinda true. It's because I am always on guard. But this is also because everyone in my class is so different from me. They go out, drink and that kind of stuff. I don't do that, I think if it comes to that I am  more responsible. (sorry people XD) I think they are too different from me, I don't feel there is a connection between us. Because in a way, I feel they think of life in a different way. I think I am maybe a bit wiser, or I don't want to mess with my brain-cells.
When it comes to making contact, I am more on my guard. I have been bullied and I think it shaped me. Not in a bad way, I won't let bad people in my life so easily, but it keeps the good people away, it makes me a bit sad.
One of my goals for next year is being more confident and making more contact in my class.
I want to get the people know me, but I also want to get to know them.

I know people think I want to get all the things I want, and that is might be true with some things. But I am human and I change every day a little more. I know I can't have everything and I don't want everything. In the past year I realised you can be very happy with what you have. After my mom got into hospital I really learned you can't take things for granted. And that every little thing is a gift. So I want to treat everything that way.

I hope everyone can accept me for who I am. I hope that everyone understands this. I hope everything will turn out okay with our class, then we get a better bond.
Please take good care of me. Because that is the only thing I want.

I want to be treated right. I don't want to be bullied again. Last year I didn't always feel welcome in the class. But I realised you can't befriend everyone. You can be nice, but that doesn't make you a friend. You can only become a friend when someone feels the same way about you as you feel about them.
I might not become friends with everyone, but I can be nice, and be friendly. Because every smile you give, is a smile given back.


I will smile bright and enjoy everything of life. I might mess up everything, but I will get up. I will put all the loose ends together and make something out of my life. Because you live life only once as this person, so why not make the best of it?

do you see me?

I am a little worried, or curious.
Do people read my blog, or do they accidental end up here?

I would love to have readers, hihi. Maybe because I want to exchange experiences.

But everytime I post something, I look into the stats, seeing how many people look here.
Mostly about my my golden rules of internet.

But then I wonder, are people really interested in me, or the advise I give.
I can give more advise, but I thought this blog was to exchange experiences with people all over the world. Telling them about me.

It is not that this topic keeps me awake at night or something... hihi

I wonder how people picture me, like some little kid or someone much older.
I still worry so much, yet it is not needed. I believe.

I have a good life (as far as it goes) and I have a good family (with ups and downs)
I have loving friends (who I see now and then because of my study)
and I have people surrounding me who don't like me that much.... and I don't mind. :3
I would mind if they bother me, but I am not really bothered by people who hate me or anything.
Mostly because I send them out of my life, and don't see again...

Which brings this topic to another area.
See I am thinking a lot.
And for the first time in a while, I am really writing it down.
I used to have diary, but I stopped writing because I was too busy writing in it, and I was actually full before I knew.

But to go back to the topic I was, Do you see me?
Or am I just a little person on this big, big world?
I would love to be more than that. I want to achieve something. I want to do something to make this world better, to make it a better place to live. Or is that a too big of a dream?

Am I a dreaming? possibly............ obviously.
I dream about how well this world could be, without bullies, without hate, and without war.
But about those last things, I can't do much about.
That is in the hands of every person it's own.
War is something like a fight, a row. But it escalates into something really bad, with effects on many lives.

So let me say this, don't fight, don't hate and don't even think about bullying someone, because it hurts.
And it makes people really sad.




So be kind, give live some love. And live your life without regrets. Do something you'll end up thinking about, Did I really do that?! Than thinking back, I wish I did that.

Live and Shine, shine like the sun!

will I pass or not?

tomorrow is an important day, because then I have to make an important exam.
Remember I said in my last post that I had an exam on the day my mom was admitted?
Well I failed, very bad.

So tomorrow I will re-do it, I hope I pass. But to be honest I am kinda worried, concerned.
Will I pass or not?

Oh and another thing, mom is home. I can't say totally fine, but at least I can say she is here.

The day after tomorrow I will hear if I passed, I am nervous already, hihi. Not totally, more good nerves.
I did my best, and tomorrow I will give it my all! Me fighting~!

I can't wait for vacation. A bit of my own time. I want to do so much ^^
I want to learn Japanese. I know a few words and maybe 2 sentences but not enough to survive in Japanese.

But I will give it my all! ^^

I am going to use more characters. (^.^) hihi
Always wanted to do that.

See you soon.

hiya.... again

I am so busy with everything.

School exams. And my internship has also finished, with great grades.

But today was a long day.
I had an important exam at the end of all my lessons>
After that I went to my mom who had a appointment in the hospital.

I ended up being there earlier or so I thought.
I waited for mom, looking at the door, not expecting to see her come from the other side.

She sat beside me and said something very short and started calling my dad.
I then heard what was going on.

She would be urgently admitted for heart problems.

I stayed with her for the time being.
But I also had to get stuff for her.

So I went home quickly, ate and took stuff and went back again.
Then I stayed, longer than the visiting hours.

When I finally got home, I had to pick up her bike.
So there I went again.

Around then I was finally home to stay.
I couldn't do a lot of homework. And I am so tired of being busy.
In the beginning I thought today was going slow, and would be boring.
It was the opposite.

Well that was my day.....
 pffff......

a lot

Hello again~!

I haven't been on because of so many things.

1. my internship meeting was postponed because of so many things. So it was this past Thursday.
I was not as nervous as I was the first time I went. I was really calm, until I had to wait in the hall there. But it wasn't that bad, really.

2. past week was our test week, so I had to learn.

3. before that it was our holiday. Christmas and New Year.
I had a good time, really good time.

Now actually busy with getting ready for my internship. The person I talked with, said I should take it slow. But I want to do it right.

But Now I am going to continue with my homework.

Byebye~!

internship

OMG!!!!

Next week I have my first meeting, of my internship.
I was nervous already but now!

I am going to work at a place where people still live on their own, but their is help for them.
There all different kind of people.
People who are in the last stage of life, and also people with Alzheimer.
Or people who had a car accident and are getting better there.
But I am quite nervous. And I didn't know the meeting would be next week.

STRESS!!!

I guess that I am nervous because I am not used to these situations.
I don't mind it, but in the beginning it's kinda scary.

I need to do so much for the meeting,
And I wonder about what we are going to talk.

I bet that when I talk to my mom, I won't be as nervous as now.
Mom has the power of making me less nervous or stressed.

I just hope everything turns out to be alright.