Thursday, July 25, 2013

feelings and past year.

I think I am honestly the only one who looks on her schoolemail. When I look back at last year, I am honestly proud of myself. I might not always have had the best grades, but I did really change.
In the beginning I was afraid to mess everything up, like everything. But as the year progressed I gained more self-confidence. When I had my intern-ship everything changed. I finally realised not everything will go alright and making mistakes is a part of life. I learned to be less serious when it comes to people and making jokes. (^.^)

I can remember me people called me a mouse, the quiet person of class. And that is kinda true. It's because I am always on guard. But this is also because everyone in my class is so different from me. They go out, drink and that kind of stuff. I don't do that, I think if it comes to that I am  more responsible. (sorry people XD) I think they are too different from me, I don't feel there is a connection between us. Because in a way, I feel they think of life in a different way. I think I am maybe a bit wiser, or I don't want to mess with my brain-cells.
When it comes to making contact, I am more on my guard. I have been bullied and I think it shaped me. Not in a bad way, I won't let bad people in my life so easily, but it keeps the good people away, it makes me a bit sad.
One of my goals for next year is being more confident and making more contact in my class.
I want to get the people know me, but I also want to get to know them.

I know people think I want to get all the things I want, and that is might be true with some things. But I am human and I change every day a little more. I know I can't have everything and I don't want everything. In the past year I realised you can be very happy with what you have. After my mom got into hospital I really learned you can't take things for granted. And that every little thing is a gift. So I want to treat everything that way.

I hope everyone can accept me for who I am. I hope that everyone understands this. I hope everything will turn out okay with our class, then we get a better bond.
Please take good care of me. Because that is the only thing I want.

I want to be treated right. I don't want to be bullied again. Last year I didn't always feel welcome in the class. But I realised you can't befriend everyone. You can be nice, but that doesn't make you a friend. You can only become a friend when someone feels the same way about you as you feel about them.
I might not become friends with everyone, but I can be nice, and be friendly. Because every smile you give, is a smile given back.

I will smile bright and enjoy everything of life. I might mess up everything, but I will get up. I will put all the loose ends together and make something out of my life. Because you live life only once as this person, so why not make the best of it?


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